Zen and the Art of Peaceful Coexistance: or My Education on the History and Future of Israel in 3 Easy Lessons.

The other weekend we were lucky enough to play host to my father's cousin Elana and her husband David for a few days while the stopped in San Diego during his book tour.

Elana and David Wesley live in Israel, having moved there (as newlyweds in their early 20s) to live on a kibbutz in the early 1950's, in the very early years of Israel's nationhood. Their kibbutz was on land near a village that was taken from the area's Palestinians, and this kibbutz used this village's orchards as their own, often hiring the Arabs who once owned the orchard as over hire employees during harvest time. They lived on this kibbutz for many years, but as their political views began to lean more to the left, their unease about co-opting the village's land began to grow.

Elana had always leaned to the left, politically, originally wanting to live on a kibbutz for its socialist look at things, where everyone was equal. She didn't see much equality for the local Arabs, though. Over time, David followed her beliefs, and today they both work toward a peaceful solution to the ancient strife, if not just for equality among the people of both sides.

David's book is about the difficulties encountered by the Palestinians who live within Israel (not the occupied territories) in their struggle for equal rights and full participation as citizens of Israel, which they are in name, but not in practice. David and Elana are touring America, with David lecturing about the book and their beliefs.

They already had some social events set up so I played their chauffeur while they were in San Diego and got quite an education by being able to participate in some amazing discussions about the history of the State of Israel, it's current dynamic, and possible solutions from folks who's ancestors came from both sides of the situation.

My first lesson was David's lecture at the SDSU Center for Islamic and Arabic Studies and the lively discussion with professors and students that followed.

The following night, we had dinner with a friend of a friend of theirs: (seafood and good wine overlooking the ocean!) and the husband of the couple turned out to have once worked for the Israel office of Foreign Affairs (if I remember correctly) and had quit after a few years because he was being asked to be a mouthpiece for Israel about things his heart no longer agreed with. He moved to America and now lives in SoCal.

And then on the third day, we had been invited to the home of a family here in San Diego, for an afternoon of coffee, cheesecake, and lots of congenial conversation with a group of their friends who were a mix of Israeli, Palestinian, Lebanese folks, etc.

We met in the home of Miko Peled, an Israeli peace activist and writer, and son of Matti Peled, who was an Israeli Major General in the Six Day War (in which Israel first seized the Gaza Strip and the West Bank) who himself later became a peace activist, and was one of a group of three generals who had clandestine meetings with PLO leaders, working to bring about the first official dialog between the PLO and Israel.

Miko has an interesting theory about how the conflict should be solved... not through a two-state solution, but through a one-state solution: a secular democratic state where every person, Israeli or Palestinian, is an equal citizen with an equal vote, leaving religion out of the whole affair. He writes about it here.

Among the other people at our little coffee klatch was a Lebanese artist, her husband who is a professor at the Jewish University of San Diego, and also a woman who is a playwright and founding director of a performing arts company here in the city, who has explored the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in one of her plays, in which she wrote my dad's cousin Elana in as a character with a pivotal role.

The talk was lively and friendly, full of lots of laughter and things to consider. I was able to ask questions that most of the folks in the room likely already knew the answers to, without feeling that I was an outsider or should know this stuff already. So it was a really fun and educational experience.

After taking my dear guests to the airport to fly off to the next stop on their American odyssey (their daughter's home!), I sought after and watched the documentary, Six Days in June, about the war in 1967, which filled in some gaps in my knowledge.



Being a mom, one often fills their head with more information about carpools and summer camps than about world affairs, and it was such a wonderful experience, stretching my brain for a good long weekend, giving it some exercise and fresh air for once in a long, long time.

More photos from our weekend can be found here.

Interview With Noah

I found a meme that some of my blog friends have been doing where you ask your kids interview questions and write down their answers word for word. I might try this one with the twins as well, but here is Noah's interview.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
Time to go to bed! Time to go to bed!


2. What makes mommy happy?
My love.


3. What makes mommy sad?
My little brothers keep having problems. They keep getting hurt and having tantrums.


4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
You tell good jokes.


5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
Play Tetris!


6. How old is your mommy ?
I don't know. 24?


7. How tall is your mommy ?
I'll get a ruler.


8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
House buying shows. (He means the ones on HGTV!)


9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Hang out with her husband.


10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Hmmm.... I know... singing! (then he starts singing "Figaro! Figaro!")


11. What is your mommy really good at?
Cooking.


12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Singing. And Art.


13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Usually you just do the kids' stuff. What they need.


14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
Chinese food.


15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
I'm just impressed with everything.


16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
I've never seen a cartoon like you.


17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Play board games.


18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We both have very dark hair.


19. How are you and your mommy different?
I have dark skin and you have bright skin.


20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
She says it more than enough times!


21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
He's very handsome.


22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
To the park.

25 Things

Over on facebook, there is a wave of people doing a "25 Random Things About Me" meme, and I have been having so much fun reading all my friends' lists. Most of them have tagged me since you are "supposed" to tag 25 people. I often ignore this kind of peer pressure, but I could use some blog fodder, and I figured if I am going to write that much about myself, I am sure as heck going to make it a blog post!

The rules are to write 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. Hmmm...

Okay, lets see how this goes.

1) I got this far and ended for the night.

2) I was born in Findlay, Ohio but now live in San Diego. I first moved to CA when I was 18 to visit my friend Cathy, and moved out here about a year later. I have since moved back and forth about 8 or 10 times, probably because I miss my family in Ohio so much and love the land, the weather and culture here in California.

3) I have a mom and a dad and one brother. My parents live in Sanibel Island, FL most of the year now, but still have their house in Findlay. My brother lives outside of Cleveland with his wife, son and daughter. I also have a Japanese exchange-student sister who never really went home after her year with us, who lives in NYC now and is a painter. And I have Bill, who is like a brother/uncle to me. He lived in our house for most all of my life, and has always been part of our family. He still lives in our house in Findlay, and holds down the fort while my parents go off and play in Florida. These people are my family.

4) My husband's family is pretty awesome and I am thrilled that I like them so much. His parents are loving and so generous with their time, resources and love. His brother and sister are amazing people who I would actually love to be friends with and hang out with, even if I had never met their brother.

5) My mom is a genealogist and has traced many lines of our family tree, one of them back to (I think) the year 400. Some of my mom's lines have been here in America for 400 years, and my dad's parents came here as immigrants. I am related to lots of odd people from history, including Charlemagne, the Holy Roman Emperor. But you know what? You probably were, too.

6) I am madly in love with my three sons. We only planned for two, and the twins were a shock, but I can't imagine not having them in my life.

7) Even so, I am really disappointed I will never have a daughter.

8) My husband, Michael, is the best thing that EVER happened to me. He is 7 years younger than me, and I didn't meet him until I was almost 30. I joke that I waited so long to get married because I had to wait for the perfect man to grow up. He is handsome and kind, patient, respectful, he can cook, do the laundry, fix the car and the computer, and is an amazing parent. He is everything I ever wanted in a partner.

9) I believe that "thoughts are things". Some people call it prayer, some call it meditation, some call it positive thinking... but I believe that whatever you think gives power to make things happen. It won't MAKE things happen, but it will give power to it. I once sat down and got quiet and focused, and I asked the universe to send me the perfect man for me, and I described him down to the smallest detail. Then I asked for him to be sent to me, said "Thank You" and patiently waited and trusted that he would come. I met him two weeks later. He is my husband, Michael. I have used that trick when I really need and desire things in my life. It works. A lot.

10) I have always had a driving need to create art but have never been that talented in the actual creation of it. This is why I think I love working in theater and photography so much. In stage management, I can use my organizational skills and people skills to help theater artists (directors, actors and designers) to stay grounded and on task, so that some pretty awesome art can be created. And with photography, while I cannot draw an image that strikes a chord with people with any skill, I can see these images in the world around me, capture it, and show it to others with photography. I think my best actual creative art is the skill I have been building using Photoshop to manipulate images. I have SO MUCH FUN doing that, I think, because it is creative art, and I am pretty good at it.

11) I worked at South Coast Repertory Theater as a production assistant/ASM in the stage management department for 7 years. I loved being back stage, in the middle of the action, making things happen, and putting out fires. I met some really awesome people back then, and miss it a lot. I gave it up when I got pregnant with Noah, and we moved to Ohio so Michael could do his medical residency.

12) I really need to make these things shorter. I am going to lose readers. I tend to go on and on more than I need to.

13) Nothing makes me feel as comfortable and at peace as being in the forest. I love San Diego, and its one of the most awesome places I have ever lived, but a part of me knows I would be more "at home" in a town in the forest. San Diego is the desert on the ocean. Most all of the plants here have been actually planted. I miss moist earth.

14) I never want to live in the snow again. Finding a fantasy land where there is forest and no snow, and is within 2 hours of grandparents is no easy task. Thus, San Diego. lol

15) I used to get my "forest fix" by attending Rainbow Gatherings, which is an event where thousands of people gather deep in a National Forest every summer for a few weeks to build a community. There is music and good food, workshops, and drum circles. It is down-home village life. There is no price to get in. It's free and the food is free. You can donate money if you wish, but there is no pressure to do it, if you cannot afford it. People build about a hundred funky and fun kitchens in the woods with downed wood and tarps, mud ovens and hiked-in grills. Once in, you never see a car or hear amplified music. It's an amazing heart-filling experience. I plugged in with the crew at the Info Booth for 15 years before becoming pregnant with the twins and then we decided to take some time off until the chore of hiking in with small kids became easier. That just might be later this year!

16) I am a Pepsi addict and have been since I was a teen. I have since switched to caffeine-free Pepsi since I discovered it tastes just the same! YAY!

17) I decided to force myself to drink coffee just before going across Europe on a backpacking trip with my friend, Carla. I was bitter that people who drank coffee always had free beverages everywhere you went, and wanted to hang out in cafes across Europe and drink coffee. I have since become an addict of coffee, as well.

18) So, yeah, I went to Europe with a backpack in 1989 and it was one of the most awesome experiences of my life. England, Ireland, France, The Netherlands, Germany, East Germany (GDR), Austria, Switzerland, Italy and Greece. We visited Berlin and went through Checkpoint Charlie to the East Berlin. I watched the wall come down on TV three weeks later absolutely stunned because there had been absolutely no hint of it happening when we were there.

19) If I could change one thing in my life I would arrange it so I could travel more. I have an unending thirst to see the world. The most amazing place I have ever been is Thailand. Michael and I went there on our honeymoon. While I always want to go someplace I have never been before when I travel, I would happily go back to Thailand in a second.

20) I check my email way too often. I leave my computer on all day, and as I go about my day, parenting, cleaning, taxi-ing, I sit down at the desk and refresh my email inbox and my facebook page at least once every 45 minutes, unless there are children on both computers. I am a hit-and-run computer user.

21) I love houses. When I was a kid, I would sometimes go to open houses with my dad, and loved to see how other people lived. Not just rich houses, but any houses. I love thumbing through magazines with log cabin floor plans, websites about home design and decorating, going on home tours, visiting historic homes, and just voyeuristically peering into peoples front windows while I take walks through the neighborhood. (No, I don't put my nose on the glass, I just keep walking!) I love Victorian houses and Craftsman design. Not in the same house, of course.

22) I almost never watch TV anymore. Parenting twin toddlers really prevents that during the day, and I just lost touch with what the good shows are anymore. I tape the shows I do still watch, and that is limited to Lost, Weeds (which isn't as good as it used to be) and Mad Men (which you really should be watching... from the beginning). I also watched The Shield up until it recently ended because a friend of mine was in it, but also because it was a great show.

23) My favorite movies seem to have been made quite a while ago. The ones I can watch over and over again are Harold and Maude and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I never really go to the movies anymore unless my sister-in-law gets me into the awesome independent movie theater she manages while my mother-in-law babysits. Otherwise, we watch movies on DVD.

24) I don't have time to read books anymore. I hope I do again someday. But my brother gave me the bright idea of listening to audio books while I go about my day on an iPod I wear on my arm. Now, when the kids are being self-sufficient, I can listen to a book while I wash the dishes or clean the bathroom! I love books that take place in other cultures and times (that are accurate depictions) and also love my science fiction.

25) I have been feeling kind of overwhelmed since the twins arrived and like I have set aside so many of the things I love to do to be a mom of 3 small kids. I am so excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel now that they are all learning self-sufficiency and do better without their mom every minute of the day, and have been fantasizing about what I can do to put a little me-time back in my life. I have been neglecting my health (mental, physical, spiritual, dental!, etc.) for a couple-three years and am considering taking a Tai-chi or a yoga class, or maybe having the family join a gym with child care so I can work out with the hubby without hiring a babysitter.


Wow! That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be! I am not going to tag anyone, but if you feel inspired to do one of these yourself, be sure to let me know so I can come read it!

Old Friends. My Bookends.

It's been hard to make friends since I moved to San Diego, and lately, I keep getting bombarded with blogs and movies and comments about women who are soooo happy to be surrounded and supported by a circle of good women. I want that for myself so much, that all this in-your-face warm fuzziness dangled in front of me is almost like being cruelly teased.

I have met some wonderful women since moving here and I think they have the potential to become that support network with some intentional group time together. To that end, I am arranging for us all to get together once a month for girl's night out to see what develops. It seems we could all use a circle of feminine solidarity!

But the other night I got a wonderful and unexpected gift!

A very dear and very old girlfriend (no, that came out alllll wrong! I mean we have been girlfriends for a loooong time!) was in-state and she and another old (young), dear friend who lives north of here and I decided to have a slumber party.

A no-child, no-stress, no-curfew slumber party!


We met at my up-north friend's house (who has no children to be quiet for, past bedtime!) and we gathered up a big pile of cheese and crackers and fruit and chocolate and wine and incense and pillows, and we headed out to the back deck that looks out over a forested canyon.


We drank wine and feasted on goodies and we talked for eight hours straight, deep into the night about our histories, our memories, things that shaped out lives, and what we have been doing in the years since we last spent time together (at my wedding - they were both bridesmaids).


At 3:30 we moved into the house to go to bed, (and then talked some more) and when we woke the next morning, we just didn't want to go home. My friend Karen realized she didn't really need to begin her interstate road trip that morning, and my husband was home with the kids, and Carla had no clients that day... wouldn't lunch on the beach and a continuation of our non-responsible time together be better than ending the feminine euphoria and going forward with our lives?

Of course, it would.


And so, we made some calls to the people who were expecting us, and informed them not to expect us just yet, and we grabbed out suits and our sunglasses and hopped in the car, driving through Laguna canyon to one of the most beautiful beaches in southern California.



We gossiped and laughed over cocktails and lunch at an Irish pub, and then walked across the street to the beach.

It was one of those golden days when the light was just right and oh so lovely, and we were high on our carefree-ness, and lack of need to be anywhere at all.


By the time the sun began to set and we headed back through the canyon to Carla's home to gather our things and pack up our cars, we had spent 24 hours together.

And it was probably the most refreshing, renewing thing I have done since my twins were born three years ago!


Now, my husband is very big on making sure I get breaks and I go out alone at times, or go have a drink or see a play with a friend as much as possible. But while as nice as that is, its short and fast and I always feel I have to have as much fun and suck up as much rest and renewal as I can possibly muster within the time constraint. And I am always looking at my watch the moment I walk out the door.

Being with women I know deeply and love, combined with having to be nowhere and have no guilt about being gone in such a tranquil space, was sooooo cleansing and rejuvenating!


I am certainly not going to give up on creating my own circle of sisterhood here in town; I have learned that having no curfew and no guilt about being gone (thus, unfortunately a husband home with the kids instead of a grandma or a babysitter that needs to be relieved) is the most nourishing time-away I could possibly devise.

Now I have to figure out how to give this gift to my husband... so we can both approach parenthood with less frazzlement (yeah, I know that isn't a word!) than we currently experience! Carla's husband sometimes hosts all-night LAN parties where a bunch of guys come, order pizza and play group computer games all night and into the next morning.

That might just be the thing!

Although you wouldn't catch them calling it a slumber party.

All I Want for Christmas...

...is a little comment from YOU!

Now, if you are one of my regular commenters, I am totally cool with ya'll. I love you, in fact.

But I started this blog way back to keep my family and friends up to date with what I am doing and I sometimes wonder if my Mom's blog friends (and yes, my blog friends) are the only folks reading this here thang.

So for Christmas, I am asking YOU to leave me a comment and tell me that you have stopped by, that I am not shouting out to the void on a weekly basis (basis... basis... basis...).

Its easy, even if you don't have a blogger profile or gmail account. You just click the amount of comments down there at the bottom of this post, check off "Name/Url" and just leave a comment and type in your name!

It would make me feel as warm as a hot cocoa this holiday season.

How 'bout it?

In exchange, I will leave you with some Christmas pics of my kids...

Fair enough?

Luka's first go at the Hanukkah candles.

I love finding gifties under the tree.

He put these on himself.

Is it just me, or are there a lot more pics of Luka than anyone else?

Here is Ethan! Sorta.

Happy Holidays, Everyone. And may your New Year be blessed
with peace and health and happiness.

Now go leave me a comment, wouldja?

Wherein the Author Explains Her Sudden Absence and Neglect of her Small but Loyal Audience.

Don't you hate when someone neglects their blog for days or even weeks on end, and then they write one of those posts apologizing and explaining their transgressions? So do I.

But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Mostly I need to apologize to my mother, who curls up in a fetal ball when I neglect to post at least once every 5 days. Get up Mom! There are other reasons to live!

It's not that I don't have things to blog about. I have LOADS to blog about, but it's those very things, planning for them and cleaning up after them that takes from me the time I need to blog about them!

The visits from our multiple house guests were great fun. Thanksgiving was lovely. Noah's family birthday before the bigger event was sweet. I've made a new friend with twins just barely younger than mine. I have begun a girl's night out thing with some random women I know. And I am attempting to bathe on a regular basis.

So, that's what's been going on!

And I can't promise to do better until after the first of the year. Between now and then we have the twins' birthdays, Noah's party, Hanukkah and Christmas... and let's see... how much... oh yes, ALL of my Christmas shopping to do. And maybe squeeze a visit to the dentist in there if possible.

So, hang in there and know that I will not desert you. I will be back in January when there is nothing to blog about. Until then, I might have the occasional surprise blog post. But don't get yer hopes up.

Really Living

On occasional Saturday evenings, a friend and I take a break from our lives and hike down to Black's Beach, a secluded and mostly unmanicured (read: more natural) stretch of beach that nestles between the sea and some magnificent sandstone cliffs. We walk, and sometimes swim, and sit on our towels and talk without the interruptions of everyday life.

Last night, we discussed how the modern world of technology, the recording of our lives, through blogs, and digital photography and social networks is causing so many people to spend more time recording life and less time actually living it. We theorized about the effects of this kind of lifestyle on society.

I admitted that the time I spend blogging, while helping to keep my family and friends in touch with our lives, and letting me off the hook when it comes to writing individual emails to folks, does take up a good amount of my free time that could be better spent watching good movies with the hubby or sitting outside enjoying a warm dark evening with a glass of wine.

But I defended my digital photography and photo shopping my photos as a pastime I would call "living" because of the amount of pleasure it gives me, and an investment towards future pleasure because I know how poor my memory is and I don't want to forget my kids' childhoods.

Then, we realized the hour was getting late, the sun was getting low in the sky and if we were going to swim, we should swim.

My friend, Karin, had brought her surfboard and when we had gotten out to the breaks, she handed me the board's leash and told me to attach it to my ankle! I nervously did as I was told, and just as I got it attached she said, "Get on! There's your wave!" I think Karin wanted to remind me what really living could feel like. I looked over my shoulder to see a wall of water coming at us!

I assumed one could just lay on their belly on a surfboard and relax, but I immediately flipped over and had to hop back on again, unbalanced, legs akimbo, cheek against the wax, trying to get my bearings. Karin yelled, "Paddle your arms!" and I wasn't even able to try before the wave lifted me up and pushed me forward. I held on for dear life, belly flat on the board, grin across my face and raced all the way to the beach!

It was completely and absolutely exhilarating!

And it turned out I was lucky for my first wave because I had a lot of trouble catching a second, but in time I was able to balance easily and learned to tip forward and back to stay right on the crest of the wave so I could keep moving.

In between sets of waves, time slowed down and the the color of the sunset on the water was an astounding gold and dark blue. Looking back at the beach showed the last glow on the walls of the golden cliffs. The sun had already set and things became even more ethereal and beautiful. It was so quiet and peaceful and lovely.

A sea lion swam for a bit only 20 feet from me, and at one point, while I lay mesmerized on the board, staring into the fading light playing on the water, a flock of about 100 black birds flew just a foot or so above my head, low over the water, out to sea and into the pumpkin-colored sky. I felt like I was one of them for a moment and then they left me behind.

Someone seemed to have turned off the waves, and after drifting for another while, we turned back toward land to find our towels in the dark.

Send In The Clowns

Noah and I have been talking about circuses for a couple years, but he has never been to one, so when I saw the Ringling Brothers were coming to town, I decided it was high time.

I picked a day when Michael could stay home with the twins and we got tickets for a matinee at the San Diego Sports Arena, which is now rather oddly named the "IPayOne Center".

...sigh...

After purchasing the tickets, I surprised Noah with the news that we were going to a really great circus and the questions about what we would be seeing began. So I went to YouTube to show him videos of the show, and was rather dismayed to find that most of the videos were about some allegedly horrible treatment of the animals by the circus staff. Apparently they have had a few deaths of young elephants, stemming from a drowning, and broken bones from falling off a pedestal during training. It was interesting... upon our arrival, we were immediatly offered a flyer touting their Center for Elephant Conservation.

We really did get a lot of entertainment for our money. They keep the ticket prices really reasonable because they sell stuff inside the arena for ridiculous prices. I had promised Noah some cotton candy because, well, its the circus, and its only right to eat cotton candy. But when I found out the bag cost TEN DOLLARS, even Noah completely understood why I balked. "But it comes with this foam circus hat!" the guy says. Can I get it for cheaper without the hat? Uh-uh.

I promised Noah lunch out with Mommy after the circus instead.

The coolest thing about the event was that if you showed up an hour and a half before the circus even began, you got to walk around outside and see the animals up close, and then go inside and go down on the floor and see jugglers close up, stand at the feet of tall guys on stilts, get your pictures taken with the clowns, and even try on circus clothes! It was a really wonderful experience. We had had a blast before we even found our seats!

The show itself was outstanding. Coming from a theater background, I know what it takes to produce a play in one theater, how much more it takes to put that play on tour, but THIS!? Just moving the animals alone... building the stables, laying down the sawdust, transporting and delivering food for the animals, tearing all that down and moving on... plus the show itself, with so many life threatening acts that require safety precautions to be checked and rechecked again and again. Plus costumes... the hanging, focusing, removing of lights, the construction, tear down and storage of sets...

Amazing.

I asked Noah if he were to run away with the circus, which job he would want. He chose the "confetti shooter". I'd want to be a clown. That could put a chink in my marriage, though. My husband thinks clowns are evil.

And the calibre of the performers was very high. All kinds of acrobats. The act that really astounded us both was when they brought out this spherical cage, and they put four motorcyclists into it. They rode so fast that they would do "loop the loops" upside down and not crash into each other. Then they added another cycle and another until there were seven! And the cage was pretty small! Here is a video of the act. You can see it pretty well. Check out the guy who leaves the formation to drive on a perpendicular axis to the others (is that mathematically correct?). You might want to turn down your volume before watching the video but its a great feat!

The show was so great that if they added a few other spectacular human events, they could probably forgo the animal acts. I know those are old-time circus fodder, but I think we are getting enlightened enough to let go of that kind of entertainment in exchange for letting those animals live a life more closely resembling their natural lifestyle. Even if they are being treated with the utmost care, which seems to be in question.

If they did that, I think they just might possibly qualify to be the Greatest Show on Earth.

Can't Even Get It Together in my Second Life

Well, Blogher (the blogging conference for women in San Francisco) is over. I really want to make an effort to get there next year. Hoping its close. I did try to attend some of the events at the Second Life Blogher Conference. Second Life is an online world where you create an avatar (kind of an animated version of yourself) and move it around this online universe, interacting with other avatars controlled by other people. With my family arriving for their visit with us, I only was able to attend the late night parties. The one official event I got to was one of the keynote speeches which was being recorded at the actual conference and played via video "in world" had technical difficulties, so I saw nothing of the real conference.

I arrived at the final Second Life Blogher dance party just as it was ending, but one of the organizers Gidge Uriza, invited our avatars back to her house in Second Life, where we did some girl on girl wrestling (I lost badly) and some knife throwing. I had this awesome photograph of my avatar up on a spinning wheel, going round and round while Gidge threw knives at the balloons tacked to the wheel around my body. Alas, the picture didn't make it to my email address when I sent it so I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

I did have a nice time talking to the ladies, though. Gidge herself, whose First Life blog is called Live from the Wang of America has a pair of twin sons and an older son just like I do, so it was fun chatting a bit about our commonalities. She has some photos of the Second Life Conference here although none of them include her throwing knives at me.

Body Art

I couldn't not play with it, could I?

I had purchased a couple cones of henna from a Mehndi artist last week for the Mother Blessing I threw for my friend, Kim. But we were having such a great talk, gathered in a circle around the living room, that we never quite got around to painting each other. So into my freezer it went.

I was told it would begin to go bad after a week so this past weekend, after getting the kids to bed, and after quite a bit of research into method and design, I went ahead and gave myself a henna tattoo.

Or twelve!

Well, I did both feet from big toe to ankle and then one hand. Couldn't do both because it was hard enough right handed. Left handed would have been a disaster!

It wasn't easy and I made some mistakes on my own skin, but I figure for a first attempt it wasn't so bad.

I made a lotus flower on my hand based on a design I found online, and then decided to stretch out some tendrils up and down my hand. Probably overkill. I then covered it all in medical papertape, wrapped it in toilet paper to soak up the sweat, and then in saran wrap to make it sweat, and Michael's socks (three of them) to cover the whole shebang.

I was disappointed in the morning to find that some of the spots got too sweaty and made the henna float and spread. My finger knuckle looks really messed up and my toe knuckles aren't much better. I guess I have sweaty knuckles.

I scraped off the henna that was still attached and over a couple days the stain changed from a pale orange to a medium brown.

It should last two or three weeks.

The henna I used didn't have any signs of beginning to go bad. It came out very vivid and dark. If I like it, I may hold onto the other cone and give it a go in another month or so.

I might practice drawing a bit between now and then.

A Mother Blessing

On Sunday I threw a Mother Blessing for my friend Kim who is due to give birth in July. We held it at the home of my friend Elaine, which was awesome because I don't think I would have had time to do the preperations AND clean my house.

(I brought my camera that night, but the only time I used it was before the guests arrived while Elaine finished decorating the cake with her daughter.)

A Mother Blessing is kind of like a baby shower, except instead of being focused on the baby, playing stupid games, and consumerism, it's about surrounding the new mother with a show of female support and strength, and really recognizing the birth for the transforming experience that it is.

Our culture has become so insane, so fast paced, that we forget to take the time to celebrate and honor the major transitions in life the transformations in our selves. Sure, there are graduation celebrations, bar-mitzvahs and weddings, but often these ceremonies have become either consumer driven, or are crazy alcohol-driven parties.

Not that I have anything against crazy alcohol-driven parties! Sure, those can be a blast!

But we have dropped most of the sincere acknowledgement of the importance of these turning points from our celebrations. And when we do take the time to recognize them, we deepen our sense of self and discover an understanding of what makes life really meaningful.

So, we gathered a group of awesome mothers into a circle, and since Kim works in one of the finest theaters in the country, the circle was filled with a who's-who of San Diego's most awesome theater-moms. It was an honor to be among them once I saw how together they seemed, balancing motherhood and the business of theater, seeming so ambitious and yet how "at ease" they all were.

Kim looked radiant in her wide smile and Earth-Mama-ness.

We all brought or picked from a collection, a bead which we held in our hands as, one by one, we went around the circle. We honored our own mothers and grandmothers, we blessed Kim, and dreamed our dreams for her, and wished for her all good things. Then, we dropped our bead in the bowl and passed it on.

I turned the beads into a necklace for her to wear or have near her during her birth, to remember that we are there with her, that we are supporting her with love and strength.

Kim then gave us an even better gift. She went around the circle telling each one of us the story of how she met us, what she saw in us, the things she admired in each one of us, and why she cherished us in her life. It was awesome and so sweet, and a few tears were shed.

I had had a few other activities planned, but it was clear before too long that what we all really wanted to do was stay in our circle and continue the talk, allowing Kim to ask advice and share her fears, giving her what wisdom we had to share, learning from each other.

It was a lovely evening, and I realized I how much I missed having a circle of women friends in my life like I have had in other communities, at other times in my life. It was so comfortable, so warm, so full of laughter and openess.

Kim wasn't the only Mama who drove home that night feeling lifted up and blessed.

The Pearl

When Noah was a toddler, my best friend Pam had a son the same age and we came up with this ingenious plan to trade free babysitting so we could go out on much-needed dates with our hubbies. When I found out I was pregnant again, I wondered if one more baby would make the trade a bit unfair for Pam. Would we lose date night? When I found out we were having twins, there just was no question of a fair balance. We lost date night.

And so it’s been.

Apart from the occasional quick dinner out or movie, because Mima (Michael’s mom: who often insures we keep our sanity intact) makes sure she comes and sends us out sometimes, we rarely go out for any romantic alone-time.

Then, peering over then fence at my new neighbors and their three small children, I had an idea. Noah and I went over and introduced ourselves and after chatting awhile about the cost of babysitting among other things, I asked if she and her husband ever got out.

They hadn’t, lately.

I suggested that, since it is so difficult to put someone else’s kids to bed (especially three of them!) perhaps we could trade some free babysitting post-bedtime, so that we could take our hubbies out for a night on the town! She said it sounded interesting.

Well, she called on Thursday and suggested we give it a try this weekend!

So, on Friday, Audra came over in time to say goodnight to Noah, while her husband stayed home with their kids, and Michael and I went out! We had never done much of anything in San Diego beyond a meal out, so I had to send out a quickie call for ideas by email to some local friends, and the links flowed in with lots of good ideas for music spots and arts events.

I was in the mood for some cocktails and maybe dessert so we picked the lounge at The Pearl Hotel. This place is like one of those very common two story drive up motels shaped in a “C” around a pool, but the owners have converted it into a swanky lounge and restaurant with retro-modern décor.

It was so cool and funky that I was just kicking myself for not bringing my camera. (The photos you see here were swiped from the Pearl's web page or stories written in newspapers about the Pearl, so since I am kind of advertising how awesome the place is, I am assuming they won't toss me in the slammer!)

We had some funky cocktails and cheese fondue in some stylish booths by the pool, chatted and enjoyed watching the giant mod beach balls sailing across the pool below the drive-in movie screen playing old Steve McQueen movies. Then we just had to try the Mayan Doughnut Holes with Chocolate Dip. Soooo very yummy.

It was not quite time to head home when we were done eating, so we headed inside to an area where you could recline on pillows and play backgammon. We didn’t play but we reclined and talked some more. It was so nice talking about more than just schedules, appointments and the usual, “how was your day” which is about all we usually have time for amid the chaos.

I think, if we keep up with these late-night dates, Michael and I could get closer, calmer, and less harried in our daily life. That is, if he can stay awake past 10:30.

Which he has trouble doing.

Sometimes.

The next night, it was my turn to baby-sit next door while they went out for dinner, but Audra called to inform me that her youngest had been vomiting all day, and she didn’t want to leave him or pass any nasty viruses over to our side of the fence. So, we will postpone until another night.

But I think, as they say, that this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Just got back from an hour at my friend Joyce's house and then put the kids down for nap. I stopped by the new rental house we will be moving into after we get back from Hawaii, and peered in the windows, made some plans for the kitchen. Now I am sitting down eating a stolen orange from the neighbor's tree and about to get back to work on plans for our tourist destinations in Hawaii.

I am STILL having pain in my neck, even after 11 days, and Joyce is a physical therapist, so she had me come over so she could do some work on it. She thinks I pinched something in something... I was too engrossed in the massage that I wasn't payng a lot of attention. I think I may need to fake injury all year to get the free massages!!

It was funny, Luka was really stressed seeing me on the bench seat she had me lay down on while she worked, and was constantly bursting into tears, and trying to make me stand up. I finally had to seatbelt him down with a snack in the kitchen so he would let us finish. She gave me some exercises, but it looks like I am going to Hawaii with a painful neck.

Hawaii is gonna be a blast, though. I have planned a kid-friendly snorkelling excursion, a luau, a mule-pulled wagon ride through Waipio Valley (check THIS out!!) because Noah is too young for the horseback rides, a trip in a REAL submarine, and of course a trip out to Volcano National Park.

We are so excited about that trip because Kilauea, which has been erupting for years, has really been putting on a show for the last few days! Some streams of lava have been going gangbusters and two of them finally reached the ocean. They just created a new access road to get people to a safe viewing area, so we may have to find a way to plan the trip to see the lava at night time.

Pain In The Neck

As Rosanne Rosannadanna always said, "It just goes to show ya, It's always something. If it's not one thing, its another." If you plan a nice trip to Hawaii, then you get kicked out of your house. If you find a nice, sweet house to live in, then you crank your neck so bad you can't shrug your shoulders!

So, yeah. I woke up the other morning with a pain in my neck. And suddenly, an hour later it twangs and now I can't look left or right without yelping.

I spent the first day swallowing copious amounts of ibuprofen and Tylenol until the doctor was able to get me some harder stuff. The harder stuff helps to some degree, but leaves me feeling so hopped up on goofballs that I almost would rather feel the pain.

And after spending the day healing, I go to bed at night and totally crank it again because my head bends all which-ways while I sleep and I wake up in more pain than before.

I did this a few years ago and felt that I needed to sleep in a chair, sitting up, just so I could heal.

PLEEEEEZE let this not be like that! I have toddlers to pick up and plop into high chairs, I have volcanoes to hike to in my near future, I have moving boxes to carry!

.

(Don't ask what the pretty picture has to do with neck pain... I just took it recently, really like it, and have no pictures of me wincing in pain. So I bring you pretty orchids instead.)

Why I am Voting For Barack Obama

Super Tuesday is almost here and here in California, we have 370 delegates up for grabs.

I usually vote democrat and have been leaning one way based on my gut instincts. But before the primaries I thought it was time to get off my butt and look at the real differences between the candidates, and make sure my gut was right. I think it was.

I’m voting for Barack Obama, and I’ll tell you why.

First off, I just like him. I really like him. And I trust him to boot. He seems to be the first politician I have seen in, well, forever, that appears more interested in doing what is right, even if it is unpopular because doing what is right is, well, the right thing to do.

Clinton keeps trying to point up his lack of experience, and I know that is at least not entirely fair.

I have to admit, even though Clinton wouldn’t say such things out loud, that just being the wife of a president, living IN the White House for years, being the person that the Prez talks things over with on a nightly basis (when he wasn’t sleeping on the couch) probably IS a really helpful thing when it comes to stepping into the Oval Office on “Day One”. It would sure make the learning curve easier to manage. But, nearly every President in American History has been a newbie in the west wing and there are systems in place to help the new team catch onto how things work quickly.

I believe almost every politician starts out wanting to make a change, do good things for America, and fully believes they won’t be corrupted by the system. But then they learn that to get things done in politics, you have to kind of allow yourself to be corrupted. Usually, by the time someone is experienced enough to become president, they have been corrupted. I don’t believe Obama has been. And I am more than fascinated to see what happens with an uncorrupted person in the white house.

Just imagine.

When it comes to Iraq, he was rallying against it just as I was back then, and verbally stated about the idea of going to war in Iraq, “I am not opposed to all wars. I’m opposed to dumb wars.”

When it comes to health care in America, I actually like Clinton’s plan better. I believe that we should eventually have a system in which every American is covered, rather than Obama’s plan that everyone who WANTS insurance will be able to get it. With Obama’s plan, people like the homeless, and those oh-so-invincible twenty-something’s will never get insurance.

But I don’t feel that Clinton’s plan can be paid for the way she says she will pay for it. The largest chunk of it, I think it was 77 billion, would come from converting all hospitals to electronic file systems (Obama wants to do that too, but not as the basis for paying for his health plan). Well, that is all well and good, but it will take a LONG time to get all the hospitals up to date, help the poor places pay for those systems, and then there will be the time that passes waiting for that system to not just pay for itself but to start paying dividends that can go toward universal health coverage. I just don’t think that will work. Not in time.

Mr. Obama would pay for his plan (which is a good plan, but doesn't get us to universal coverage) by allowing President Bush’s tax cuts for the most affluent Americans — those making over $250,000 a year — to expire. Officials estimated that the net cost of the plan to the federal government would be $50 billion to $65 billion a year, when fully phased in. There is the money, right there.

Lastly, I go back to what I said in the first place.

I like him.

He feels authentic. He feels like the real thing. I feel like he is not lying to me.

I was not alive when Kennedy was around, and I usually hate when folks compare people to JFK, the Beatles, Ghandi, or whomever. I don’t know if Obama is anything like John F. Kennedy, really. But I am getting the feeling that the way Barack Obama inspires me is similar to the way Kennedy inspired people of his generation.

So I am voting for Obama on Tuesday.

Either way it goes, I have to say that I am really excited that our country is finally in a place where they are seriously considering putting a woman or an African-American in the White House.

That feels really good.

Waxing Nostalgic

Sometimes, just when you are about to give up hope, life swings in your favor.

I was 29 years old, panicking about turning thirty. I didn't have the kind of dating history to give one much hope of just running into the man of my dreams anytime soon. I was considering, you know... lowering my standards.

And then I remembered one of the greatest things I learned from a past relationship... that thoughts are things. Call it prayer, call it meditation, call it wishing, call it what you will. But thoughts have power and you can use it.

So, I sat down one day on my couch, I closed my eyes, I breathed deeply, and I started designing him.

He would be kind, he would be dark-eyed and dark haired. He would have goals but they wouldn't take him from his family. He would be manly, but not consumed by "guy things". He would be great with kids; he would be great with other people, he would be great with me.

I could wear high heels and he would still be taller than me.

He would be willing to clean the house at times, pick up after himself, and know how to do a load of laundry. He would cook great food, and enjoy doing it. He would know how to fix cars and computers, but still like to see a good "chick flick". He would enjoy going to the theater. He would like the same music I liked.

He would put up with my foibles.

He would like words like... "foibles".

I went on and on, describing the man of my dreams to the universe, to God, to Spirit, to Whoever Listens. And then I asked for that man to come into my life.

And soon.

Two weeks later, my roommate dragged me to cheesy dance club, and a tall, dark, handsome man kept looking over at me. I was astounded when he came over and asked me to dance. And later, for my phone number. His name was Clint and he was an architect!! We dated for two glorious weeks before he sat me down on that same couch and told me that he thought I was really great but he also liked this other girl, Nancy, and that he didn't feel comfortable dating two girls at the same time, and well, he was picking Nancy.

Have at it, Nancy!

He left and I went back to the couch. I sat down again, breathed a little more raggedy than before, and spilled out my list again to the universe. And then I added, "and please let him love me more than any other girl in the world!"

And I waited.

Two weeks later, my roommate dragged me off to the same cheesy dance club. I dreaded running into Clint there. Some friends from work came, and our mutual friend, Jason, also brought along his roommate, Michael, whom I had never met. And he was damned good looking. We both ordered the same drink, (WATER!) and laughed about it. When everyone was dancing, he asked if I wanted to go outside where it was a bit quieter.

I did. Very much so.

We both admitted that we preferred coffeehouses to bars, and it turned out we both frequented the same coffeehouse! In fact, as we told each other about ourselves, there was a repeated chorus of "me too!!", over and over again.

A day later, he called and asked me out to our favorite coffeehouse. It was our first date. We sat out on the patio, drinking mochas under the strings of lights that night. When the place closed, they told us we could stay there and talk. When the last employee left, he turned off the twinkle lights, and still we stayed and talked.

As he told me about himself, I kept making mental notes. Dark hair, dark eyes, check. Likes kids, check. Can fix a computer, check. He wants to be a doctor?? Has goals... check! Tall enough, check. Likes to cook, CHECK!!

And the litany of "me too's" continued, showing us how much we had in common.

I think he walked me to my car around 3am. There he gave me an awesome kiss good night.

Check.

We have been together ever since. Unless you count those four years he spent in Yugoslavia going to Med School. Yeah, that was no walk in the park, but we still considered ourselves "together".

On a trip home between semesters, he surprised me with a weekend at a bed and breakfast in Julian, CA. Neither of us had spent much time in San Diego, and never dreamed we would end up here, but we came down for this vacation together. It was a lovely place... not the kind of B&B with lace and painted wooden duckies, white wicker and light blue quilts (not that there is anything wrong with that) but our style... dark wood, red velvet Victorian settees, candles and rich colors all around.

One night, while I was taking a rare, luxurious, bubble bath (he had even brought in candles to make it more soothing and romantic), he came in, sat down by the tub, talked a bit. Stammered a bit...

And then he asked me if I would marry him.

(Talk about vulnerable! I was in the tub!!)

I, of course, said yes. He got a little wet, what with all the hugging and crying that ensued.


That bath??

That was ten years ago, today. And I still feel like a giddy girl on her first date whenever I think of him.

I love you, Honey.

Happy Anniversary.

I'm Big in New Zealand!

I got an odd email the other day.

This guy from the "regional council for the Waikato region in the North Island of New Zealand" wrote to me. He is a graphic designer for Environment Waikato, which is a "regional council that manages land, water, soil, air, coastal and geothermal resources in the central North Island of New Zealand."

Apparently, they like to change their banner header every three months and have it represent each season. And this season, being down under and all, is Summer!!

So, this guy asks if I would mind if he used part of one of my photos of Ethan that we took on the beach this summer (our summer, 6 months ago!). I thought, "why not?". They also put a graphic representation of a river through every picture they use. You will see that if you check it out. It should be their page header for three months or so!

So, I'm published! Sort of...

Check it out, here.

What Do I Want For Christmas?

Update: I am keeping this post on top because I am STILL BEGGING for your comments. I am lovin' it! But there is a new post below this one, you might not have seen.

I will tell you.

Comments, baby. I want comments!

I just sent out a massive Christmas Card email to all my friends and family (okay, lots of them) and I am guessing there is going to be an influx of visitors.

(waves furiously!!)

And what I want for Christmas is for you (YOU!!!) to just take a second (pleeeeze!) and leave me a comment to let me know you stopped by. Whether you stop by every day or if this is your very first time.

EVEN if you plan on never coming back again!

It's easy! See down there where it says how many comments there are on the above post? Click on that. Check "Nickname" and type in a name so I know who you are. Then just say "HI!" in the comment box and push "Publish Your Comment!"

It would make this girly-girl very happy.

Very happy, indeed.

Update: If you missed it, from my email Christmas Card, here are my kids dressed like elves and dancing their butts off.

Wherein She Renegs On Her Promise To Stop Talking About Giveaways Already, And Get Back To Real Blogging

Well, I had been planning to get over all that holiday contest craziness and get back to blogging about my family life, but I just can't help but gloat over the new "bling" (oooh, I'm so hip, so cool! I said bling!) that I won in a couple giveaways!

I mentioned these wins before but I feel compelled to give a little linky love to the hosts of the giveaways and to the companies that supplied the prizes.

First off is the "awesome!" (Noah's review) skeleton earrings that I won through a blog called Subu, Inc. Confessions of a Craftaholic and were made by an awesome little home-based company called Local Library. Both places are very fun to peruse. Check them out. I also won one of LL's little funky patches. Thanks, ladies!!

And then...

Then! I won this awesome chunky real turquoise bracelet from NY $pender, a blog full of fashion and style tips. Its made by a company called Luxe Jewels which makes just that: little pieces of luxury for your wrists, neck and ears!

Its called the La Playa bracelet. It's heavy and is valued at $85.00, baby! I love the black lines going through the stone. Its lovely. Especially on MY wrist!

A big Muchas Gracias to the people at both companies!

Okay, back to your usual business...

Just needed to gloat a little bit.

Needer, needer, neeeeeeeder!!!!

Letter To My Teenage Self

This post was written a little while back in response to this writing challenge over at Mom's Daily Dose. I saved it for a time such as this when I have nothing to give you, and my readership is dwindling because all I write about is my booty. Spoils. Winnings. Whatever!

You can read some other people's letters to their dumb teenage selves too, by clicking on that link.

I wish I had some nasty old picture of myself in high school so you can see who I am writing to, but I burned all those before leaving Ohio.

*************

Letter to My Teenage Self (circa 1982)


Karen,

Hi, its me, from 2007!

Yeah, weird, huh?

I just wanted to write and let you know that you rock! Don’t believe me, huh? Yeah, well that’s a self esteem thing you are going to carry around for awhile before you get over it. But you know, all those popular girls are going through it too, they just hide it better.

So, lets see, it’s a good opportunity to give you some good advice.

First thing’s first. Stop Brushing Your Hair!! No really… Do you want to stop looking like a bush? Get some of that stuff that some of the girls use to make their bangs really tall. It’s new. It’s called Gel. Wash your hair, rub this stuff on, scrunch it with your hands, and don’t brush your hair!! Just let it air dry! You will look far more like Farrah Fawcett if you do this, than you do now using that curling iron to make that “tube” down the side of your hair. And if you insist on curling your hair back, get it feathered for god’s sake!

Next, you remember that interview with Joseph Campbell where he talks about his theory called Follow Your Bliss, where if you don’t know what to do with yourself, just aim yourself towards whatever feels blissful and you will go forward on a path that will bring you happiness? Remember how you thought that might be a good way to live your life?

It is. Do it.

For now, though, don’t worry so much about everything. High school FEELS so incredibly important, but really it’s not. In fact, looking back, I have so few memories of high school because I almost never ever think about it. Or I blocked it out. One or the other.

And stop trying to fit in so much. All those popular people who are big fishes in that little pond, are going to be LOST in college, I tell ya!

LOST!

One of them, who you will swear now doesn’t even know your name, will stop you on a sidewalk at college and talk about how long it’s been, and ask you to hang out. You might want to be slightly more polite to her than I was. That’s just the kind thing to do. She probably feels in college like you do now, in high school.

So, college? You are gonna LOVE IT!! So much so, that you will attend about six of them. You will thrive like you never did in high school. You are eventually going to have this urge to follow your bliss across country to California, which will lead to a cheap education in junior college. Do it. You will make some of the best friends of your life there, and they will be the ones you stick with and who support you through the years, even if visits with some of them are few and far between. You will have your first real long term boyfriend there too, and will stay friends with him forever.

That idea of taking theater classes for fun because no one REALLY makes a living in theater?

Wrong.

A few of those friends are going to do pretty darn well for themselves. At first I was tempted to just tell you to quit floundering around and go major in theater, but if you do, you may never meet your future husband (yes, it does EVENTUALLY happen) who is currently 9 years old as you read this. Yep.

And by the way… he is going to be everything you want in a man.

And more.

Before that though, you are going to have to go through some hard-lesson-learning. You are going to date a guy for three years. He will teach you SO FREAKING MUCH about life. He is so wonderful, and such a mess at the same time. He will shape your philosophy of life, religion, politics, what music you listen too. He will steer you toward the person I am today. He is not easy to live with. Stick it out. But only for two years. That last year? It was a year too long. Don’t believe him when he says he is nothing without you. He will be just fine.

You will eventually work in professional theater and it will be the most creatively rewarding thing you do until you have children.

And, oh, about the children. That idea of tea parties and pink tutus and playing house?

Ain’t gonna happen.

No matter how much you or your future husband plan on having little girls? Again, ain’t gonna happen. Three boys. All completely different from each other. All completely awesome. Start studying little boys now. They are mystifying.

Basically, if you follow your bliss, everything is going to work out for the best. You are going to feel like you are constantly blessed. You do most of the broad strokes just right.

Otherwise, I would say...

*Travel internationally more.

*Stay away from that DJ in Anaheim, he’s married, but he won’t tell you that.

*Keep the hotel room door closed if you are ever passing through Las Vegas with a cat.

*That year in Davis, CA? Nothing really gained. Waste of time. Except you get to live in a Victorian flat and a warehouse loft. That’s cool.

*Floss! My teeth are a mess thanks to you. You owe me 3000 dollars!

Oh, and you know that little company called Microsoft? And that little nest egg you have been saving? Spend it all! Buy stock. As much as you can.

No, really.

Love,
Karen, circa 2007