All Aboard!

Luka has become quite the train aficionado lately. He discovered a friend's Thomas trains and little tracks and he hasn't looked back since. I got him a little set of used Thomas trains.

He likes watching that insanely boring show on TV, but I have to admit it is completely and utterly adorable to see him hooking up train cars, huddled over his tracks and moving his trains around making little chugging sounds.

My neighbor and I each have three kids, and while our eldest children were off getting their higher education, we loaded the little kids into one van and went off to the stadium where there is a San Diego Trolley station and climbed aboard. It was the perfect thing to do with four small boys.

The kids loved the trip, pointing out all the school buses, shopping malls and mountains they could see passing by out the windows. They loved not having to sit in car seats! We took two separate rail lines over to a small steam train museum where kids can explore a caboose and a climb into the engineer's platform on a steam engine.

Then we headed across the street to our favorite coffeehouse for moms with kids, Java Mama, to let them blow off some steam of their own while Audra and I filled up on caffeine.

Two more trains got us back to our van and then we headed home in time for lunch! That was enough to do me in for the day, even with the extra caffeine.

I had loads of good camera fodder. You can see more photos over on my flickr page!

Not Clear On The Concept

Today, Noah became very frustrated with Luka about something and started saying some very mean and hurtful words. I told him that that kind of talk was not acceptable in our family, and so he stomped off to go draw a picture for Luka to show him his feelings since he was not allowed to do so verbally. He brings the drawing to Luka and presents it.



Noah: Here, Luka, this is for you.

Luka: For me?

Noah: Yeah. It's a picture of an evil chicken eating a boy and it's to show you how angry I am at you and that I really wish you would get eaten by something.

Luka: You made a picture for me!?

Noah: Yeah. This here says, "I - hate - you."

Luka: I LOVE IT!

Noah: You aren't supposed to love it. It's to show you how angry I am at you!

Luka: It's beautiful! Thank you, Noah!

Noah: It's not beautiful! It's MEAN! It says, "I hate you" on it!

Luka: What's this word?

Noah: It's HATE! It says HATE! H-A-T-E!!!

Luka: Good job, Noah!

Noah: You don't understand! You are getting attacked by this evil chicken!

Luka: Is me?

Noah: Yeah. And an evil chicken!

Luka: I love it! Thank you, Noah!

Noah: Oh... NEVER MIND!!!!!

Interview with Luka

Okay, so it's Luka's turn. He is a bit behind Ethan in language skills. Pretty good at saying what he wants to say, but not the greatest at comprehending what is said to him. I had to ask him some of these questions in different wording. And this interview was done in about three different sittings because he was a bit frustrated. But it's darn cute.


1. What is something mommy always says to you?
(makes a kiss sound)

2. What makes mommy happy?
A bandaid.


3. What makes mommy sad?
What about clothes?


4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Look what I found!


5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
I want to find you on a picture.


6. How old is your mommy ?
4


7. How tall is your mommy ?
Big!


8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Dora.


9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Counting.


10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Five.


11. What is your mommy really good at?
Four. Or two. Or one.


12. What is your mommy not very good at?
I want to play my games.


13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Type.


14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
Carrots


15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Luka!


16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
What cartoon mean?


17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Play outside. Let me show you outside.


18. How are you and your mommy the same?
There's blocks in the jar.


19. How are you and your mommy different?
I'll brought you something.


20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Loves me!


21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Love him!


22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
Playground!

Interview With Ethan

Well, I did this "interview your kids meme" with Noah the other week, and so I thought I would give it a go with Ethan next. Ethan is 3 and 1/3 right now. His language skills finally took a jump forward after lagging for awhile, so its kind of fun chatting with him now. Here goes:


1. What is something mommy always says to you?
Eat.

2. What makes mommy happy?
Play blocks!


3. What makes mommy sad?
Draw on the table. And microwave, too.


4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Funny kinds.


5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
Say "goo goo gah gah".


6. How old is your mommy ?
You are 5!


7. How tall is your mommy ?
Check your email!


8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Daddy's video!


9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Make a Dora plate. And a Mario plate.


10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
25!


11. What is your mommy really good at?
Eating!


12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Draw on the table.


13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Checking your email on the computer.


14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
Ummm... salad.


15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Hug and Love.


16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
A girl. A man too with Daddy on it.


17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Dance!


18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We got names.


19. How are you and your mommy different?
A girl and a boy.


20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Huggy.


21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Hug him. I love Daddy and you.


22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
In the office.

Zen and the Art of Peaceful Coexistance: or My Education on the History and Future of Israel in 3 Easy Lessons.

The other weekend we were lucky enough to play host to my father's cousin Elana and her husband David for a few days while the stopped in San Diego during his book tour.

Elana and David Wesley live in Israel, having moved there (as newlyweds in their early 20s) to live on a kibbutz in the early 1950's, in the very early years of Israel's nationhood. Their kibbutz was on land near a village that was taken from the area's Palestinians, and this kibbutz used this village's orchards as their own, often hiring the Arabs who once owned the orchard as over hire employees during harvest time. They lived on this kibbutz for many years, but as their political views began to lean more to the left, their unease about co-opting the village's land began to grow.

Elana had always leaned to the left, politically, originally wanting to live on a kibbutz for its socialist look at things, where everyone was equal. She didn't see much equality for the local Arabs, though. Over time, David followed her beliefs, and today they both work toward a peaceful solution to the ancient strife, if not just for equality among the people of both sides.

David's book is about the difficulties encountered by the Palestinians who live within Israel (not the occupied territories) in their struggle for equal rights and full participation as citizens of Israel, which they are in name, but not in practice. David and Elana are touring America, with David lecturing about the book and their beliefs.

They already had some social events set up so I played their chauffeur while they were in San Diego and got quite an education by being able to participate in some amazing discussions about the history of the State of Israel, it's current dynamic, and possible solutions from folks who's ancestors came from both sides of the situation.

My first lesson was David's lecture at the SDSU Center for Islamic and Arabic Studies and the lively discussion with professors and students that followed.

The following night, we had dinner with a friend of a friend of theirs: (seafood and good wine overlooking the ocean!) and the husband of the couple turned out to have once worked for the Israel office of Foreign Affairs (if I remember correctly) and had quit after a few years because he was being asked to be a mouthpiece for Israel about things his heart no longer agreed with. He moved to America and now lives in SoCal.

And then on the third day, we had been invited to the home of a family here in San Diego, for an afternoon of coffee, cheesecake, and lots of congenial conversation with a group of their friends who were a mix of Israeli, Palestinian, Lebanese folks, etc.

We met in the home of Miko Peled, an Israeli peace activist and writer, and son of Matti Peled, who was an Israeli Major General in the Six Day War (in which Israel first seized the Gaza Strip and the West Bank) who himself later became a peace activist, and was one of a group of three generals who had clandestine meetings with PLO leaders, working to bring about the first official dialog between the PLO and Israel.

Miko has an interesting theory about how the conflict should be solved... not through a two-state solution, but through a one-state solution: a secular democratic state where every person, Israeli or Palestinian, is an equal citizen with an equal vote, leaving religion out of the whole affair. He writes about it here.

Among the other people at our little coffee klatch was a Lebanese artist, her husband who is a professor at the Jewish University of San Diego, and also a woman who is a playwright and founding director of a performing arts company here in the city, who has explored the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in one of her plays, in which she wrote my dad's cousin Elana in as a character with a pivotal role.

The talk was lively and friendly, full of lots of laughter and things to consider. I was able to ask questions that most of the folks in the room likely already knew the answers to, without feeling that I was an outsider or should know this stuff already. So it was a really fun and educational experience.

After taking my dear guests to the airport to fly off to the next stop on their American odyssey (their daughter's home!), I sought after and watched the documentary, Six Days in June, about the war in 1967, which filled in some gaps in my knowledge.



Being a mom, one often fills their head with more information about carpools and summer camps than about world affairs, and it was such a wonderful experience, stretching my brain for a good long weekend, giving it some exercise and fresh air for once in a long, long time.

More photos from our weekend can be found here.

Interview With Noah

I found a meme that some of my blog friends have been doing where you ask your kids interview questions and write down their answers word for word. I might try this one with the twins as well, but here is Noah's interview.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
Time to go to bed! Time to go to bed!


2. What makes mommy happy?
My love.


3. What makes mommy sad?
My little brothers keep having problems. They keep getting hurt and having tantrums.


4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
You tell good jokes.


5. What did your mommy like to do when she was a child?
Play Tetris!


6. How old is your mommy ?
I don't know. 24?


7. How tall is your mommy ?
I'll get a ruler.


8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
House buying shows. (He means the ones on HGTV!)


9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Hang out with her husband.


10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Hmmm.... I know... singing! (then he starts singing "Figaro! Figaro!")


11. What is your mommy really good at?
Cooking.


12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Singing. And Art.


13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Usually you just do the kids' stuff. What they need.


14. What is your mommy 's favorite food?
Chinese food.


15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
I'm just impressed with everything.


16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
I've never seen a cartoon like you.


17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Play board games.


18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We both have very dark hair.


19. How are you and your mommy different?
I have dark skin and you have bright skin.


20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
She says it more than enough times!


21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
He's very handsome.


22. Where is your mommy 's favorite place to go?
To the park.

What Makes This Night Different From All Other Nights? (It could be the Easter Eggs)

So, if I showed you photos from a holiday that feels like it was weeks ago, would it hold your interest?

Okay, I confess, this post is mostly for the Grandmothers so get over it! Right after the holidays I had some house guests for a few days, and spent a few days preparing for them, so the holiday post went on hiatus.

Michael and I come from mixed backgrounds so we tend to celebrate both Jewish and Christian holidays which can really rock if you like holidays!

And I do!

So, over the Passover/Easter holiday weekend, we headed up to Michael's mom's house. The first night we had Passover and it's traditional Seder dinner. This is a very ritualized dinner, and everyone was very excited to see that Noah was finally able to participate this year by reading the children's part, called The Four Questions.

Noah did a really awesome job and was proud when people praised him for sounding out words like "vegetables", "recline", and "Maror"!

Earlier in the day, Mima took the kids (and Michael) to the Noah's Ark exhibit at the Skirball Center which is an awesome display of hands-on kid-friendly exhibits including dozens of animals made out of everyday objects like violin cases, toilet plungers, springs, oil cans, bicycle horns and the like.

I went shopping.


That evening, after the Seder, we put the eggs and the baskets outside for the Easter Bunny so he could hide them in the backyard after filling them with... you know... KOSHER candy!

Uh huh.

That's how we roll.

My Little Tech Geek

We've found that we have had to limit Noah's time on the computer because he has discovered Super Mario Brothers and has become a bit addicted to playing it.

Okay. A LOT addicted to playing it.

But he recently found a downloadable program online that allows him to build actual Mario games, with different levels and such. I think this is actually pretty educational as he can figure out, as he plays his own games, what is too difficult or too easy to play and how to problem solve as well as get around inside menus and such.

Check it out.

Returning to Manageable

Noah is out of school for the next month.

With his high level of energy and wild pendulum swinging between Most Lovable Kid Ever and the Constantly Screaming Rudeboy, having him home for vacation can either be easier (no carpool to interrupt our day!) to much harder (trying to put out three fires at a time instead of the usual two, while cleaning house, and trying to make life entertaining and educational for young people).

But this time it has been different. And I think it's because the twins are maturing!

You know how people say "Oh, Honey, enjoy them while they are young! They grow so fast!" Well, don't get me wrong, I am totally enjoying them. But I look at women at the grocery store with middle-age kids and watch how the mom just shops and the kids actually follow without getting hit by cars or shopping carts, or knocking things off the shelves! It's downright astonishing!

And I yearn for my kids to be middle age: to go on adventures; to not be tied down with naps.

Look at the last four school breaks (Noah's school has 3 one-month breaks a year, not all together in the summer like most folks do). For the first of the last four breaks, I had Noah in day camp because it was just too hard to entertain him and manage the twin toddlers. I mean, I could do it, but it meant rarely getting out of the house and doing something fun for them.

Noah hated camp.

The last two times, I kept Noah home from day camp because he wanted to be with us. Why spend the money? I was able to manage getting out to some playgroups and such, playing in the back alley with the neighbors, and going to the neighborhood park. The twins had just turned three.

This current vacation break? I took all three of them to the dentist, across town to see a house for sale, into the post office, and then to the local kid friendly coffee house for play time before heading home, and all before LUNCH, baby!

And then today, the very NEXT day, we went to the park, had a picnic, rode a bus, went to a mobbed train museum (it was free museum day), ate cookies on the grass, rode a bus again! All without a stroller! The kids stayed with me, they followed direction, they held hands, they didn't fight, they dealt with crowds, and had a great time!

The twins are three and a quarter now. Some of you might think my kids should be able to manage all this just fine by now, but keep in mind, with twins, they don't get the practice singletons get walking with a parent and following along because if one goes off one direction and the other goes another, you can't keep them both safe. And if one gets out of the stroller, the other must as well!

Some years back, I was told by two separate twin moms that it all starts becoming easier, and more like normal life, like other people's lives, when the kids turn four. For singletons, it's age two. Double that for twins. But I think I am getting a reprieve. I think we are going to be an on-the-go family again, on a regular basis soon.

Very soon, indeed.

Balance

I've been having a bit of an internal tug of war lately.

I've been feeling a bit guilty about the amount of time I spend writing this blog about my family (and reading other blogs) versus the time I spend, you know... spending time with my family.

I purposefully took a little break from both (a little cold turkey), and found that once the cycle was broken, I didn't feel the need to keep up with all the blog reading I had set up for myself. I had a bit of withdrawal, but I think I am able to go back now, and pick and choose from among the few dozen blogs I liked to peruse and pare down my list to a choice few.

I also learned to forgive myself for not blogging every single week. Or twice a week, for that matter, as I had been trying to do. In my internet wanderings I once found a badge you could put on your blog that said "Guilt Free Blog" showing your determination to not allow your blog to take over your life; not to feel bad if you don't constantly blog. I never put that badge up but I think I can live by that principle and write when it gives me pleasure or I feel so inspired.

I know it dismays the Grandmas when there is a big lag between grandchildren reports. And I know some folks who pop in daily to see if I've written a new post might wander away with boredom if I have long lags (I hope you folks will discover feed readers instead!). On the other hand, it pleases the hubby to have me hang out and watch a movie with him instead of using free evening time to write and photoshop. And perhaps adding other activities into my life might be beneficial. Yoga has piqued my interest lately.

On the other other hand, I have about a thousand photos waiting to be imported, culled and filed. Which actually gives me pleasure when I sit down and do it.

So, I have been thinking a lot about, and trying to achieve, some balance.

Anyway... I haven't abandoned you! I will come in, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes every 20 days... but I will keep on posting. I just won't let this blog, which has given me a lot of pleasure, become a tedious job.

So, there.

(grin... wink!)

And on that note, I leave you with the easiest of blog material ever... (which maybe I should use more often since it is so full of grandma-pleasing-goodness) VIDEO! Video of me just sitting down with my kids and seeing what they do. Nothing hysterical... just day in the life.





Okay, Mom. Feelin' better now? ;^P

Step Away From the Technology!

On the topic of getting our children to turn off the TV, the computer game and the XBox and just go outside and PLAY, I thought I would share with you this video of a commercial for a laundry detergent from Europe. It's a good illustration for yesterday's post of getting back to nature.

Enjoy!

Last Child in the Woods

When you were a kid, did you have that special place you would go, somewhere in nature, back when kids were allowed to roam free without telling their parents EXACTLY where they were going? A place where you felt you belonged, a place you claimed as your own? A place in the woods? The edge of a creek? A great climbing-tree? A large bush, even, with a hole you could crawl into and hide?

Do you remember how empowered and peaceful you felt hanging out all by yourself or with your friends in nature?

I've been thinking a lot about this lately...

Has it ever occurred to you that we have taken this amazing experience away from our children in just a couple generations? With all the fear of kidnapping and molestation at every turn, we are prohibiting our kids from walking home from school, having free range of the neighborhood or even leaving the front yard, much less giving them the freedom to explore the few wild places left near our homes.

Kids nowadays, I assume because of the media-instilled fear of predators, are no longer allowed to wander through their neighborhoods.

When I was 8, I had free range of a two block radius, including every backyard, and we could also go anytime we wanted to a quarry, a creek and a train track down the road from my house.

The quarry had once been a swimming hole where you could still see a frayed rope dangling from a bar placed there so kids could swing out over the water, let go, and drop in with a splash. In my time, we were told the water was not clean, but it provided lots of stone-skipping fun, and one could walk around it on a path through some trees.

Most kids in my neighborhood used to have to come home when the streetlights came on. One girl's family had a large farm bell on a tall post in their backyard that they would ring if it was time for her to come home, and it could be heard for blocks. Her parents trusted her not to leave the area in which she could hear that bell.

We played alone, in pairs and in packs. In the summer, we played outside from morning until dinner time, and then we often went out again after dinner. We would play "Ghost in the Graveyard" for hours, hopping neighbor's fences and hiding under bushes. We stole the sugar bowls out of our kitchens into which we dipped stalks of wild rhubarb to make them sweeter.

I suspect now, in my old neighborhood, most kids are allowed to play only in their yard (the backyard, of course, as the front has CARS driving by!) unless they get permission to go to another kid's yard, with that other kid's mom's permission, passing the protection of said child from one responsible adult to another. If they want to go down to the end of the road, I am guessing they go with a parent and are not allowed to place pennies on the railroad track, much less throw rocks into passing train cars or cross the tracks and wade in the stream, jumping from rock to rock catching crayfish.

The field there is now a tennis court, and a city-built skate park. The quarry has been filled in and the ring of wild trees around it has been cut down. It's a flat mowed lawn now.

Last week, I had the opportunity to see a lecture given by Richard Louv, the author of the book I am currently reading called, Last Child in the Woods. Louv argues that children are spending less and less time on unstructured play in nature, at a time when it is critical to do so, and their lives and the future of our planet are being severely impacted. When children are outside, it is usually in scheduled, structured team activities, or on playgrounds with soft turf, short slides, and rubber around the chains on the swings.

Children are more obese, less creative, less active, less pro-active, more fearful, less knowledgeable about the natural world than their counterparts were just a couple generations ago: kids who played in their local ravines, caught tadpoles in the stream, and played in their forts in the nearby copse of trees at the end of their streets.

*************************************
Consider this:
· In 1971, 80% of 7 to 8 year-olds were allowed to walk to school on their own, whereas just 9% could do so in 1990.

· In 1990, only half as many 7 to 11 year olds as in 1971 were allowed to go to places other than school by themselves. What do you suppose it is now, in 2009?

· The age at which children are granted specific freedoms increased—the freedom permitted to a 7 year old in 1971 was permitted to the average 9.5 year old in 1990. It's been two more decades since then.

. Between 1981 and 1997, children’s free playtime dropped by an estimated 25%, and this change appears to be driven by increases in the amount of time children spend in structured activities. Their unstructured play time is mostly spent indoors with some sort of electronic media.

. Students in outdoor science programs improved their science testing scores by 27 percent (American Institutes for Research, 2005)

. Researchers at the University of Illinois have shown that the greener a child’s everyday environment, the more manageable their symptoms of attention-deficit disorder.
*******************************************

Richard Louv made a comment that really struck me during his talk. He said that most every environmentalist and conservationist working for change today had a transcendent experience in nature as a child. In a time, when we really need to change the way we live in order to make a healthier environment, we are prohibiting our children from having any kind of transcendent experience in nature.

If kids don't spend time in nature, they won't have the desire to take care of the environment, except in the abstract sense, and we don't have time for the abstract anymore.

While Louv feels that getting kids back outside at all is great progress, what he is really advocating is getting kids back to wild nature. Not soccer fields, not playgrounds, not landscaped parks, but woods, ravines, rivers, rocks, trails, lakes and beaches.

And he wouldn't mind if some of that time was alone time for the kids who can handle the responsibility.

Louv wants to get a grassroots movement going in America, much like playgroups and book clubs have taken off in the last few years. But he would like this movement to get families out into nature in groups, to make it more fun, more social, and more common. He calls them Family Nature Clubs. He wants groups of friends and neighbors to scoop up the kids, and meet somewhere out in nature on a regular basis, explore and just have fun together.

A light bulb went on for me when I heard this. My family does go out and walk one of San Diego's canyons on occasion, and we hike occasionally when my parents visit. But I had this thought a few months back to get a friend or two and their families out to the woods, at a day use area for a long afternoon of just hanging out, talking and letting the kids play in a natural environment. Climb on some rocks, wade in a creek. Get dirty. Richard Louv got me thinking, "why can't this be a regular thing?" And why just one or two other families?

So, if you are a friend of mine and live locally, don't be surprised if one day in the near future I invite you and your kids out for a day of rest and play at the day use area of Cuyamaca Rancho State Park or one of the other Day Use Parks in our area.

I am picturing everyone bringing sandwiches or campfire/barbecue foods for their own kids, a dish to share with everyone else, some camp chairs for the parents to hang out together. We would come out sometime after breakfast, and get home around dinner time. Lunch will be had in the out of doors. The kids can play, explore and climb, some folks can take a short hike, the adults can get some much needed social time with each other, and a good time will be had by all.

And if we like it... maybe we could do it every few weeks or so.

What do you say? Are you game?

Are there cool natural spaces you can take your kids near home? Like the idea of hanging with your friends and their kids once a month? Want to commit to vacationing someplace where you plop down in nature someplace and stay awhile instead of visiting amusement parks and cities?

Thoughts? Ideas?