You might recall our recent issues with Noah and his anger/sadness/hyperactivity. At home, things with Noah have been going much better since my epiphany that he needs to be innundated with acceptance and to rise to his challenge when he says he doesn't belong in the family. I work hard not to get angry, or dragged into his funk, but to just stay calm and positive and insist he is loved and nothing he can do and nothing he can say to us will ever make us love him any less.
And the challenges and dark moods have been subsiding. He still does it occasionally but sometimes they are faked, or habit and he can easily be steered out of those bad moods. None of them have been severe or long lasting since that night I held him in his bed.
At school is a whole 'nuther story.
At school he has a different problem entirely that we don't really have much of a problem with at home. He seems to be very hyperactive, doesn't follow the rules at times (forgets to raise his hand, etc), and he is constantly making verbal noises as if he were scatting or something and distracts the other students.
On the advice of the school guidance counselor, we filled out the Connors Scale evaluation to see if he has ADHD. We fill out one, his teacher fills one out, and then the school nurse evaluates the scores. Based on the final score, they tell us if we should take him to see the pediatrician for a diagnoses. We filled ours out a week ago and are still waiting for any word back.
Meanwhile, I went in to pick up Noah on Tuesday, who had had a really bad day in class. They come home everyday with "color cards" telling the parents what kind of day they had. A green card means a great day (behavior-wise), and below that are the yellow card and red card (like a stoplight, I guess) and lastly the dreaded blue card.
On Tuesday, he ended up with a yellow card, but his teacher informed me that he would not be going to the Zoo with the rest of the class on Monday if he had anything below a green card for the last three days of the week. He was one of five kids on "parole", as it were.
We had a long talk with Noah.
I knew if he went down from green to yellow early in the day, he was likely to go into his funk and get bitter and sullen about missing the zoo. I convinced him that if he moved down to yellow he had to consider it the start of a game to be the PERFECT STUDENT! If she asked them to sit at their desk, he should get there first and fold his hands. If they were asked to line up, he should get there right away and stand tall and quiet! Not that I expect perfection from him... I just want him to think of yellow as a challenge to move back up to green, not to give up and get bitter and angry.
And so far, it's worked! He has gotten two green cards and his teacher says that he has been "an angel"! Pray that it holds out one more day. I can't even imagine how angry and full of despair he will be in if the whole class gets to go on a field trip and he is left behind. His issues are about acceptance and social esteem.
Leaving him behind will not help that.
But, on the other hand, a good strong lesson in the control of his impulses wouldn't hurt either.