Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Works For Me Wednesday: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Over at Rocks In My Dryer they have a thing called "Works For Me Wednesday" where each Wednesday bloggers post tips on how to make life easier for families. I love to read it but have never participated.

Well, this week, they decided to do it backwards, where folks would post a question or request for tips on some topic and folks would comment with tips and suggestions.

In the Spirit of the Great Mofo De-Lurk Day of 2007, I decided I would participate to see if I could get a little help through comments.

Here is the thing...

Noah has had some behavior issues lately. We are working on that but I am having trouble teaching him about respect. Noah is four (and a half, he will insist) and is actually learning about respect this month in school.

I guess I am having trouble DEFINING the word for him. When asked he will say he has learned that respect is following the teacher's rules, not breaking things that belong to other people, listening. Those are examples of HOW to respect someone or something but it doesn't say what the word means in a way a four year old can understand.

So, I would love to hear your tips and suggestions. How do you explain respect to your little ones. How do you explain who deserves respect and who doesn't (although I guess you would start with EVERYONE deserves respect). Do you explain that some people deserve MORE respect? Older people, teachers, policemen and policewomen? Parents, for heaven's sake?? Any ideas on how to get them to act with more respect towards his parents? It seems he is good for his teachers and grandparents and treats us in a very mean spirit sometimes, showing no respect at all.

Help me out, folks.


willowtree said...

Ha! You're kidding aren't you? If you do figure out how to explain that effectively to your kid, please send me a transcript!

Happy Momma said...

Okay call us cruel and mean parents in our house, but we demand respect. That sounds harsh, but I don't tolerate it. If she (3 1/2) is being sassy or rude: 1)she is ignored, and if she is persistent, then I deal with her.

I feel in that same tone though I can only teach her to respect by showing her respect, i.e. daddy, the mailman, her grandparents, etc. I also talk to her insituations I am not 100% thrilled with someone else that I still should show kindness. It is Biblical that we have respect for others and that we teach them respect. Some days are better than others, but at the end of the day all you can do is pray for God's wisdom. Respect is something we all want and we all deserve (even those times when we don't think someone does)
Good luck, and blessings!

Anonymous said...

Alex has also has had some behavior issues lately. He does the same thing as Noah...most of the time "respecting" everyone but his parents! I can't wait to see what some of your responses will be!

Sheila said...

Happy Momma has some good advice and children often learn behavior by what they see. That said, my daughter still has trouble learning to not interrupt adults when they are having a conversation. I too will be back to see what advice other people may leave.

SummerM said...

The best way I explained it to my 3 year old was loving others as much as we love ourself. And in loving them that means we also treat them the way we treat ourselves.

Not very clear, but I think he got the gist of it.

Willowtree said...

Yes you can include a link in blogger. I sent you an email explaining how.

Natalie Joy said...

Hi, You don't know me but maybe I can help. I am a family counselor for "at-risk" children ages 3 to 18. RESPECT is one of the first things that I teach. It is very difficult to define. We don't even usually try. What I do with the kids, all ages, is ask them to tell me what respect "looks" like, "sounds" like and "feels" like. Then we also define Does NOT "look" like, "sound" like and "feel" like. This seems to be easier for them to "get".
So under "Looks" like we have things like open body language, smile, happy/peaceful/pleasant face. And, under "Does NOT Look Like" we have fists, scowl/angry face.
Then under "sounds like" you will put soft voice or normal voice, happy tone, kind words, etc. "Does Not sound like" is yelling, angry, mean words etc.
Feels Like is happy, peaceful, etc. and Does NOT feel like is angry, hurtful etc.
It seems like if they come up with the answers it sinks in a little better and is easier for them to understand, remeber and DO. I talk a lot with kids too about how this applies to all people not just themselves. Hope this helps. If you need any other ideas let me know.